Sunday, May 3

Living on the Edge, Part One

Some people "live on the edge".

Like me.

Except completely different.

When we talk about those people, the ones you probably thought of when you read those words, we most often mean people who live on the border of life and death. The ones who take risks, who make choices that the rest of us might call "wild" or maybe even "crazy". The people who live for today, because really, how do any of us know how much time we have?

I'm a wannabe.

For now, I'll have to settle on the addition of one simple letter (ironically, one which teeters right there in the middle of the alphabet). So, mine might be more of a ledge than an edge. I can go with that. Whatever it is, it's scary as hell. And worse yet, I'm not on a day hike. I live there.

It feels like the border of life and death, I'll give it that. Because even as I sit on solid ground, weighing my next move, my legs dangling over the precipice, I am aware that, like the Old Man of the Mountain in New Hampshire, the rock beneath me could break, sending me plunging into....well, wherever I would have gone had I stepped out of my own free will.

It's a long hike up (and a long hike back down) so it's not like I have a lot of company up here, save the poor souls that imagine they might like a photo taken of them sitting bravely on the edge, their hiking boots swinging in the breeze, trusting the granite beneath them to hold firm. They don't stick around long after their Kodak moment.

I've been told I spend far too much time up here, on this ledge, on this edge. Don't I know it. Have you seen the view from up here? Have you disregarded the reasonable warnings of everyone that you know, and "looked down"? It's a long way down, my brothers and sisters. A long way down. Show me someone who wouldn't be scared of that, and I'll show you someone who is far more evolved (or else far less) than the rest of us mere mortals.

Let me ask you this: If you're clear you're not walking back down the way you came up, and the drop is steep and pure, wouldn't you take your sweet time, maybe sit there for a while and ponder the potentially life-changing choices facing you? Right. Me too. be continued


ConverseMomma said...

I think anyone who is not afraid of that edge, has never dangled their toes over it.

Anonymous said...

I say continue forward on the trail. There is no other option.